Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
