SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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