Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
