WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
