I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
