I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
