Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
