I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
