i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
