cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
