They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
