you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
