Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
