she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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