where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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