I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
