hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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