Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize