you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
