I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
