I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
