Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
