summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
