She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
