You just made me feel so damn special
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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