doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
