If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
