Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
