It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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