I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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