just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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