Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
