my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
