I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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