Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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