I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize