I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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