I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
honey bunches of taint.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
