I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
