I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
