no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
