Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
