what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
