so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
