why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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