talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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