I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
