I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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