**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's blow job season.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
