watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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