I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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