He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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