Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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