I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
