I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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