If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
