Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
