Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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