dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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