Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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