Who wears a wallet chain?!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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