that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
